It took me a while…
… but when I finally realized that me + love of my life = baby wasn’t necessarily the only equation for me, it was the most liberating feeling ever. And I am not alone in that (neither are you!). These Hollywood ladies also decided to take matters into their own hands:
Sandra Bullock: Before the very public demise of her five-year marriage, Bullock had started the process of adopting a baby boy, Louis. After the divorce, she went through with adopting Louis as a single mom. Five years later she adopted her second child, 3 1/2-year-old Laila. In an interview with People magazine, Bullock said, “I can tell you absolutely, the exact children came to me at the exact right time.”
Charlize Theron: This single mom has two children, both adopted: her son, Jackson, and daughter, August. Shortly after adopting Jackson in 2012, Theron told British Vogue: “I’ve always been very honest in saying I wanted a family. I’ve always known I wanted a family.”
Padma Lakshmi: When she became pregnant in 2009, at age 39—even after being told by her doctors that she couldn’t—Lakshmi was dating two different men and wasn’t sure who the father was. She has been very open about that in the years since her daughter, Krishna, was born. “I was presented with two very different, very interesting men, and you know, men do it all the time,” she pointed out on the Today show. “I chose to do it. I was open with the men involved, and I’m gonna own my history. That’s what I did.”
Sheryl Crow: Cyclist Lance Armstrong split with the singer/songwriter when she wanted to have kids and he didn’t. So, after surviving a battle with breast cancer, Crow adopted son Wyatt, and then son Levi a few years later. The two go on tour with her and have already shown a love for music.
Yes, yes, I know, men don’t need the same deadlines that we do, at least biologically. Guys can be 72 and have a kid; just look at Mick Jagger (although, just because they can have a kid at 72 doesn’t mean they should). But we women need deadlines (and even if we don’t want them, our biological clocks set them for us). It’s annoying, it sucks, but instead of crying about it and being consumed by it let’s just deal with it the best we can.
And while this is heavy stuff, it’s been shown that stress is the biggest hindrance to women having (what they perceive as) a happy life of family and career. So, chill the F out with the F word (family!). Remember Elizabeth Banks’s character in What to Expect When You’re Expecting? She was a crazy ball of anxiety trying to get preggo with all of her ovulation alarms and the like. Then, when the girl had a glass of wine and just said “F it,” she got knocked up. So, get out of your own way, sister. You have enough issues and challenges to deal with… you shouldn’t be one of them.
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